Can you guess what it is yet?

I think my daughter may be the love child of Rolf Harris and Nessa from Gavin and Stacey.

Yes, I too was quite sure I had been pregnant and given birth but the evidence seems to be stacking against me. It must have all been a dream, or a nightmare.

So how have I reached this rather bold conclusion?

Well it all started when my daughter began to do old Rolf's 'oom ha ha oom ha' chant as she pottered around her business – playing, wrecking the joint and seeking out her next meal.

You know the one I mean, that breathy, sing-song chant he does when he's drawing. There is probably a technical Aussie term for it but I don't know it.

I don't mean she goes around saying 'can you guess what it is yet?' but if my theory is proved right, that will naturally be the next step.

As for Nessa - well this will only make sense to watchers of Gavin and Stacey but anyway... Nessa's catchphrase is 'oh' which she follows up with 'what's occurring?' My daughter does an uncanny impression of the 'oh' which at present I quite enjoy following up with 'what's occurring?' Small things and all that.

My daughter finds my little routine funny but then she is not overly discriminate in what makes her laugh.

So there we have it – 'oh', 'oom ha ha oom ha', my daughter is unquestionably Rolf Harris and Nessa, off Gavin and Stacey's, love child.

How me and my husband came to possess her I'm not quite sure. The stork must have bought her.

At least my daughter should turn out a good artist and a good, umm, fake, make-believe Welsh, type comedy person.