Most awkward pregnancy photos ever? Definitely

I immediately armed myself with an argument when I saw the headline in the newspaper this week - “Are these the most awkward pregnancy photos ever?” I thought here we go again, another opportunity seized to bash pregnant women for - shock, horror – daring to show off their pregnant forms in public.

The pregnant form seems to still be so taboo that just a glimpse of a pregnant tummy protruding from beneath a T-shirt gets news reporters churning out drivel about how these women should just cover up, or alternatively not step out of the house for nine months.

So I was ready to leap to these women's defence and champion their cause, along my usual lines of there is nothing more beautiful and natural than a pregnant women etc.

But then I saw the photos they were talking about and let's say it made me falter for a moment.

The photos of 30 mums-to-be are being billed as an opportunity for these women and their families to celebrate this marvellous blossoming time in their lives and to document their pregnancy for their future child to look back on when they are older.

Sounds noble enough but then – oh dear.

Obviously you will all have to take a look at the photos for yourselves but they left me stuck for words for a moment, and that's not the best thing for a writer.

Let's just say if you were to have a nightmare featuring pregnant women in a series of bizarre poses and get-ups it probably would fail to rival the weirdness of this collection of photographs.

The first photo is almost misleading on what's to come. The mum-in-waiting poses 'seductively' in a negligée with bump protruding out while her partner stands behind her shirtless flexing his muscles. There is nothing too offensive about this photo or at least you can understand what is trying to be said here. The mum is saying I'm still attractive despite being pregnant and the man is trumpeting his masculinity because he has fathered a child. A rather outdated image, particularly on the part of the man, but perhaps to be expected from some people.

Another image of a woman with the picture of a foetus drawn on her bump is a little strange, perhaps creepy, but again you can see that they are trying to be a little bit clever and alternative with this photograph.

But then things really start going down hill and essentially what follows is completely inexplicable.

There is a photo of a pregnant woman with her husband and their other child stood around the dining table wearing masks which completely cover their faces.

In another a husband and pregnant wife pose together, one holding a mop and the other a rake. Yet another shows a pregnant woman naked and protecting her modesty whilst her partner poses next to her cradling a car tyre.

More alarming is the image of the pregnant woman and partner swigging vodka and another of a man wielding a gun at the camera whilst he puts a protective arm around his pregnant wife.

The images seem to range from failed humour, through complete inappropriateness to random craziness which makes no sense at all.

If the whole point is to document this time for prosperity and give the as yet unborn child something to look back on when they are older, then boy has this photographic exercise failed.

Check out the photos for yourself at www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articles-2180213/Pregnancy-photos-Awkward-snaps-soon-mothers-weird-poses-wearing-costumes.html

Heavily Pregnant Woman Taking Part in the Olympics

A heavily pregnant woman is set to take part in the Olympic Games.

Nur Suryani Mohamed Taibi will be representing Malaysia in the ten metre rifle shooting. She will be 34 weeks pregnant when she takes part so just a month from her due date of September 2^nd.

The rifle shooting will take place at the Royal Artillery Barracks in Woolwich and there should be no difficulty in telling her apart from the other 390 shooting competitors. She'll be the one with the huge bump.

Apparently she will not be the first pregnant woman to to part in the Olympics but she will be the closest to her due date.

Her husband has been supportive of Nur Suryani taking part in the Games but the National Olympic Committee and her friends were more concerned.

In response she says: “I am the mother. I know what I can do.”

Airlines do not allow pregnant women to fly after 35 weeks so at 34 weeks, Nur Suryani is just in time. While she will also have to adjust her shooting stance to take part. Some rifle shooting disciplines involve competitors lying on their stomach and she cannot do those, limiting her to the ten metre shoot.

She said she is worried about the baby kicking at the wrong moment but she will talk to the baby before the competition to ask it to keep still.

Part of me wants to congratulate Nur Suryani. She is single-handedly showing that being pregnant does not have to stand in the way of doing what you want to do. In this country certainly, there is still the prevailing attitude that women are weak and helpless when they are pregnant. It would be quite something therefore if Nur Suryani was to win a podium place in London and stand there proud, pregnant tummy and all.

However, personally I don't think I would have the energy or the nerve to take part in the Olympics when pregnant, not that I'm expecting the call to do so any time soon. I would be a little too concerned the pressure would cause harm to the baby.

The rifle shooting competition is certainly not the 100 metre sprint. It's not going to take a huge physical toll on Nur Suryani. But if I were her I'd much rather be watching the Olympics on the television with my feet up than taking part.

Lunch first and then hospital, abusive husband tells pregnant wife

The man who refused to take his pregnant wife to hospital after beating her has walked free from jail.

Riasaf Ahmed frequently beat his wife, Ruqayyah Ghani, leaving her fearful for her life and when she fell pregnant, his attacks on her did not stop.

One day, Christmas Day in fact, he beat her so hard that she feared she was going to lose the baby. Her fears appeared about to be realised when the next day she woke up suffering from stomach pains. She begged her husband to take her to the hospital but Ahmed said he would only take her after she had made him some lunch.

Despite his appalling treatment of his wife, which also saw him essentially keep her prisoner in their home with no front door key and no money, he has not been sent to jail and instead was given a suspended sentence.

The decision has left domestic abuse charities up in arms as they say it takes immense guts for any woman to testify against an abusive husband and this outcome suggests domestic abuse is something that can be excused.

What makes the story more tragic is Ghani did get away from her husband at one point. In 2010 her family were shocked to see her covered in bruises and took her away from her husband to live with them. However, on discovering she was pregnant, Ghani returned to her husband hoping to make another go at the marriage.

Ahmed was let off jail by the judge because of an alleged serious medical condition. The court heard how he had struggled after losing his job and was suffering from ulcerative colitis (a type of bowel disease).

I believe however, there can be no reasonable excuse for Ahmed's behaviour and the judge's decision was glaringly wrong.

The beatings and the imprisonment in the home are one thing – one thing which cannot be excused in itself, don't get me wrong. But asking his pregnant wife to make him lunch before taking her to hospital, and whilst she was in the throws of fear over the possibility of losing her baby, is borderline sadistic.

It shows he completely lacks any compassion for his fellow human beings, even his wife and his unborn child, and relishes seeing others suffer. This, in my opinion, places him amongst the most despicable and cruel of men.

Adoption the subject of new reality TV series

A new reality TV series is set to follow mothers as they give their babies up for adoption.

The aim of the programme is, allegedly, to shine the spotlight on the often traumatic and distressing time a mother who gives up her baby goes through.

I just hope this sensitive subject is dealt with tastefully and this does not end up yet another sensationalist TV show aimed at entertaining viewers at the expense of the participants.

The show, called 'I'm Having Their Baby', will follow a number of different mothers, all who give up their babies for adoption.

The first two women to feature on the programme will be 25-year-old receptionist Mary and 20-year-old Claudia, both from America.

The programme will take up their story 15 weeks before their due date and so will give plenty of time to delve into the difficulties women looking to give up their babies go through. The programme will not simply begin at the moment of handing over the baby to its new parents.

Mary became pregnant after having an affair with her ex-boyfriend. She is now divorcing her husband but feels she cannot keep the baby.

The cameras follow Mary as she looks through adoption books detailing potential families to adopt her child. The cameras continue to roll as Mary becomes overwhelmed with emotion over the prospect of what she is going to do.

Claudia falls pregnant after only dating a man for a month. The TV show sees her attending an ultrasound scan and she tells the cameras, “I must fight my maternal instincts”.

Both women are shown to question the suitability of the adoptive parents they have chosen at some stage throughout the process and both have severe doubts about giving up their children for adoption once their babies are born and they start to bond with them.

I will say again, I think what is essential is this programme deals with this issue with all due sensitivity.

On the one hand the programme can be seen as doing a noble thing by raising the lid on the subject of adoption – an issue which the majority of people know goes on but perhaps will have very little real understanding about. If the subject is dealt with properly, this programme could not only increase other's sympathy for the plight that women who have to make the difficult decision to give up their child to adoption go through, but also act as an informative tool for those facing the prospect of having to go through the adoption process themselves, whether looking to give up a child to adoption or to adopt a child.

What makes me fear the worst however is today's television is saturated with reality TV series, many of which are guilty of exploiting the people who take part in order to get viewers. Could 'I'm Having Their Baby' end up just another reality programme of this ilk? Certainly if this programme was taking to TV screens ten years ago I would not have the same kind of fears I have now.

Fake tan linked to fertility problems

Experts believe women who use fake tan could be putting themselves at risk of developing fertility problems.

This is because, they believe, the products contain a cocktail of chemicals which are seriously dangerous to health. This includes hormone-disrupting compounds which can impede conception and also affect the healthy development of babies, leading to babies being born with birth defects.

The chemicals can even be linked to cancer, whilst other complications include skin irritation, allergies, diabetes and obesity.

All but the most natural of cosmetics tend to contain some chemicals but experts believe there is an increased risk with fake tan because it is applied all over the body on a regular basis.

The experts are saying the fake tan may be a 'contributing factor' behind the significant increase in cancer, diabetes, obesity and falling fertility and users should take a 'precautionary approach' to these chemicals until their full effects are known.

The chemicals are not only absorbed into the skin, and into the blood stream, but can be inhaled if the fake tan is applied using a spray.

One in ten British men and four in ten British women use fake tan.

I would say it is no bad thing if this piece of scaremongering, because that is essentially what this is, curtails people's obsession with the satsuma look.

However, at the same time, it does give pause for serious thought. Just because fake tan is so widely used and has been hailed a far safer alternative to sun beds and lying out in the sun, does not necessarily mean it is completely harm free.

You only have to look back a couple of centuries to when elements such as lead and mercury were used as beauty products to realise what is considered safe at the time, is often perceived by future generations as ludicrously dangerous.

VISA cards for 12-year-olds

Twelve-year-olds can now have their own credit cards. Well almost.

VISA has launched a chip and pin card specifically geared at children aged 12 and over. It is called the CitizenCard and also acts as an identification card as it includes the child's date of birth and photograph.

The card costs £15 to buy and parents can then put money on it for their child – anything from £10 up to £5,000. VISA has also made it possible for parents to keep track of how the money is spent.

It can be used as a payment card in shops and online, but cannot be used as an actual credit card.

Youngsters under 16 need their parents' permission to apply for the card. There is no cap on the amount that can be spent using it at any one time but the funds must be on the card in the first place. A block can be placed on the card if it is lost. The card incurs a charge of £1 every time it is used to withdraw cash from an ATM.

VISA is hailing the card a breakthrough card as it allows payment and proof of identification in one.

On the face of it, yes, this card could be seen as a highly convenient way to ensure your child is never left without cash in case of an emergency. This is provided they do not lose the card of course, or it isn't stolen by the playground bully.

However, that is where the perks end for me. I find it hard to understand why an identification card is necessary at such a young age. It only becomes essential to carry one at age 18. In later teenage years the last thing many young people want to have on their person is a card which proves they are under 18.

I think VISA has simply jumped on a whole untouched target market who they have seen they can exploit and make money out of – well their parents anyway. There is no reason these children cannot be handed money in cash form, because surely they shouldn't be handling great amounts of cash at any one time. And god forbid, for bigger purchases, why can't the children actually go shopping with their parents?

Give me a break from tear-jerking commercials

Is it me or has there been an upsurge in the number of television adverts geared at pulling parents' heartstrings?

Perhaps it is the case that now I am a mother I am simply noticing them more. It is a bit like when you buy a new car and suddenly everyone else seems to be driving one as well.

But I definitely think it is the new way of trying to sell products to the masses. It used to be the adage that 'sex sells'. I think now feature a cute kid and a doting parent and you're a winner.

The first advert of this ilk was an electronics advert of some sorts. It featured not even a mother and child, but a father and daughter. The father was sending his daughter a variety of emails at different stages of her life for her to look back on when she was all grown up. This advert appeared on screen for the first time only a few months after my daughter was born and it had tears streaming down my face. 'He's writing emails to her recording his love', I sobbed.

There would have been a time, pre-baby, when I would simply have moaned about how that was completely unrealistic as no email account would have been able to keep hold of those emails for all those years without at some point automatically deleting them.

Then came yet another father and daughter advert – a car advert this time. The premise of this one was all about looking after her, again at different stages in her childhood, with scenes of him blowing up her armbands ready for her first swimming lesson, doing up her cycling helmet before she rides her bike and carrying her sleeping form up to bed after a late night out. It is all sealed off with him buying his now grown-up daughter a car, which the audience is to assume will give her just as much protection as dad has been giving her all his life.

However, the best was kept to last in the tear-jerking sense with a National Lottery advert released to tie in with the building Olympic fever. And this advert did feature a mother and daughter – God help me.

The mother, now an older lady, reminisces about how as a girl she used to run, along sandy beaches, through shady woods and down quaint little streets and she basically had a real talent for it. This all ended however when reality kicked in and she met a man and had a family of her own. But the dream isn't over. She watches her daughter in a running race at school and realises her child has just the same talent for running she had. Thanks to lottery funding her daughter goes on to become a profession runner and the mother talks about how she still loves to watch her daughter run, with the clinching line “and I run with her” - metaphorically rather than literally. Cue, not just tears from me at this point but actual uncontrollable sobs. “She runs with her, she runs with her,” I cry. Ridiculous.

I used to be a hard-nosed journalist and the most tragic stories wouldn't affect me. What happened? Motherhood that's what.

Baby care is all about the 'Three B's', apparently

According to baby experts it's all about the three B's - breastfeeding, bed sharing and body contact. Ensure your child has these three elements for the first three years of their life and they will be happy and contented little people.

Hang on a minute – three years they say.

I'm not exactly sure who these baby 'experts' are, as this was a story originally spouted on the BBC breakfast news and I have commented before on just how poorly they seem to report on various issues these days.

All I can presume is these 'experts' do not have children of their own.

I don't wish to write off this latest faddy theory too quickly. It contains elements which I think are far more preferable to the all to common perspective on parenthood these days, that children should in no way encumber your previous lifestyle and as soon as you can fling them in the back of your car and get on with your life as though the children are barely there, the better.

Being a parent is all about sacrifice and this latest theory is about sacrifice in the extreme. As a mother, to give up three years of your life to completely devote yourself to your child and to essentially be bound to them by a tight cord, or as the experts suggest – a baby carrier or sling to give them that third important 'B' – body contact – is a sacrifice indeed. But I have to say whilst it may be noble for parents to be prepared to show such devotion to their children, I would argue this three B's theory is by no means practical or even possible.

To work through the list, breastfeeding is a vital step in the bonding process between mother and child, as well as the healthiest way you can choose to feed your baby. I would advocate any mother nursing their baby in this way for as long as their baby is happy to do it. What I do find puzzling though, having breast fed my daughter, is how mothers are able to carry on breastfeeding their child right into toddler hood. When my daughter was just over nine months she looked up at me when I went to feed her as if to say, 'what are you doing' and that was the end of breastfeeding for her. She literally decided she no longer wanted to do it because she realised there was far more going on in the world that she was missing whilst being cocooned up in my arms.

As for bed sharing – how on earth do parents do this? The principle is a nice one and it certainly would help erase those irrational fears you have some nights when you worry your baby is OK simply because you haven't heard a peep out of them. But with bed sharing comes so many more worries. You either place them in the middle of the bed and then you have the concern they will slip under the duvet and be suffocated or you or your partner is going to roll over and squash them in the middle of the night. Or you keep them on the outside of the bed and keep an arm round them but then I'm sure I'd never get a wink of sleep because I'd be too afraid to go to nod off in case I let go of them and they fell out of bed.

And as for body contact and having to carry them around in a sling until they are three. This is surely the most impractical of all. I struggled to carry my daughter in a baby carrier after she was around four months old because she became so heavy. It would be impossible to carry them around like this when they are toddlers. And how are these children meant to learn to crawl and walk and run? If they need to be held close at all times when are they going to learn these kind of skills and a whole host of others like independence and socialising with others.?

These baby experts claim their three B's method actually makes children more independent because they have a good strong foundation of security and love. Now this I agree with. I think if you do ensure your baby feels safe and secure and loved they will be more inclined to merrily go off and do their own thing in the knowledge you are going to be there to welcome them on their return. But I think this foundation of security can be built up through breastfeeding for a reasonable amount of time, lots of kisses and cuddles and reassurance without having to give up three years of your life to an impractical fad which is surely going to lead to resentment and a desperate need for personal space on all sides.

Stay-at-Home vs Working Mums

Psychologists fear there is a direct link between parents putting their careers first and children developing mental health problems in later life.

Journalist Angela Neustratter writes in the Daily Mail an honest account of how she put her career before looking after her son. As soon as he was born Angela was given a promotion at work and so threw herself even further into her career, working late nights and barely having the energy to spend quality time with her boy when she was at home.

At the time, however, she thought as long as she had a good child minder, all would be well.

It was only when Angela failed to get the promotion she wanted when her son was a toddler that she decided to instead work freelance instead. As a result she was at home with her son full-time. She did her work before her son woke in the morning and after he had gone to bed at night. She was there to take him to playgroup, to do activities together and chat and just to mill around each other at home.

She saw a marked change in her son's personality. He became more independent and was happy to be left to do his own thing. Angela also got to know her son more. She knew how to deal with his different emotions and altogether developed a close bond with him.

Angela records in her article that one in four children go on to develop mental health problems. She says mental health experts fear that whilst it is not the sole cause, the modern idea of both parents going out to work in order to rake in the cash has a lot to do with it. This idea, they believe, is a result of a lot of celebrity mothers being seen to have it all, at the same time as modern pressures to live a materialistic lifestyle.

However, only recently, British pop star, Lulu, who is now in her 60s, admitted she deeply regretted not being a better mum to her son.

And it works both ways. Newly divorced actress Katie Holmes says she was always unhappy at how her ex-husband Tom Cruise put his career before spending time with their daughter Suri.

Angela says she is so glad she took a step back from her career and decided to spend time at home instead. She now has two grown up sons in their 30s and they have a very close relationship.

She says that she realises a lot of mothers need to keep working for financial reasons and other women have a need to continue working as it is part of their life force. Angela says however, that parents just need to take a moment to consider how their actions may be affecting their children in the long run and to be prepared to sacrifice some of their own desires for the good of their offspring.

I couldn't agree with Angela more. I'm so glad I put my career on hold to become a stay-at-home mum.

Mummy's guilty pleasure

No this is not going to be an article about that now infamous book 'Fifty shades of Grey'. I haven't read it but by all accounts it is most certainly a lot of mummys' guilty pleasure. In fact there no longer seems to be much guilt about it.

But no, this article is going to be about my guilty pleasure, daytime TV show 'Let's Do Lunch – with Gino and Mel'.

This 'cookery' programme has taken over the Loose Women slot on ITV whilst those loose women go off and soak themselves in the sun somewhere over the summer hols.

Loose Women was always an entertaining watch if only to see which of them had got divorced that week. I remember there was one edition of the programme where the four strong panel proudly declared they had seven divorces between them. This was met with rapturous applause from the all-female audience. 'Yeah, you go girls, kick those men to the kerb.' Oh dear.

But I have to say in terms of pure unadulterated enjoyment Loose Women cannot rival the car crash show which is 'Let's Do Lunch...with Gino and Mel'.

I like the way they have set up the title so that any day they could substitute the names Gino and Mel for a completely new pair and this speaks volumes. Gino, the celebrity chef, and Mel, the TV presenter, certainly like to keep their audience on the seat of their pants when it comes to who is going to drop a clanger next.

I knew this show was off to an excellent start when Mel decided to wax lyrical about how she had a summer cold, which she had originally thought was hay fever, before telling Gino to carry on cooking whilst she went off into the corner to blow her nose.

Gino has become a bit of a celebrity pin up, especially since winning the title King of the Jungle in a series of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. He markets himself as being some kind of Italian stallion. More like an Italian Shetland Pony based on his diminutive size but it doesn't seem to put all the salivating women in the audience off. I suspect the salivating is more over him than his food.

I just like watching him to see how far he is going to push the boundaries of what is acceptable on daytime TV. Only the other day, as Mel and guest for the show, presenter Alex Jones, bemoaned the amount of butter he was putting in a chicken kiev, he decided it was an appropriate time to reveal half an hour of love making burnt off 180 calories. This was greeted with a nervous smile from Mel, whose main role seems to be to try to keep Gino in check.

I also find it fascinating how after several years appearing on cookery shows in the UK his grasp of the English language is so poor. He bought puzzled glances when he instructed all those watching to next cut the 'flash'.

'Flash?' we were all thinking before Mel had to again rush to Gino's rescue. 'He means flesh everyone, flesh.'

Another highlight is the painful moment when Gino decides to call upon members of the audience to taste his food. This either involves him going to them, plate in hand and sitting on their laps, or calling them out in front of the audience and feeding them himself off a fork.

One day he got a woman to try sweet potato for the first time. What did she think, Gino asks. 'I like potatoes' the woman replies with her mouthful. An inspiring answer indeed.

Fantastic TV. Check it out weekdays on ITV from 12.30pm to 1.30pm.

Bikini babygro outrages parents

A babygro emblazoned with a red polka dot bikini has gone on sale at a department store in America.

The image on the babygro is more controversial for also featuring the outline of a mature female body, curves and all. This gives the effect that when a baby's head is poked through the top they are boasting a bikini-clad womanly figure.

Is this appropriate attire for the baby girls it is marketed at?

A lot of parents do not think so and are up in arms at Gordman's in Mississippi for stocking it. They say it is another example of the over-sexualisation of children at a young age and it is highly inappropriate.

Others say these parents need to lighten up as it is just a joke.

The babygro has a white background and little ruffled sleeves and is aimed at babies up to 18 months old.

The store has been unavailable for comment on the issue but the company behind the babygro say on their website that they are constantly working to create fresh, new products that reflect the ever-changing experiences and lifestyles of babies and their families.

I think ultimately this babygro is tasteless and possibly vulgar as a garment for a baby. Even as a design for a T-shirt for teenagers or adults it lacks any kind of style.

But I do think parents need to be careful at just how worked up they are perceived to be over this issue.

This babygro is ludicrous and I have no idea what kind of mother or father would choose to dress their baby girl in this. It is not really that funny and is making a mockery of the poor baby more than anything else.

It is best just not to buy this babygro and hope the company that makes them and the department store learn their lesson.

I say parents should be careful not to overreact to this because the over-sexualisation of children is a big problem internationally. Children are being encouraged by marketing and their gullible parents to grow up too fast and to become mini-adults before they have even started secondary school.

Yes, this babygro could be deemed as a symptom of this culture. Images of curvaceous women have no place in the vicinity of a little baby. It is starting to blur the innocence of one with the sexual maturity of the other, and as we know, there are some sick minds out there who do get confused.

However, parents should not water down their argument against the over-sexualisation of children by throwing too many areas for complaint into the pot. They need to pick their battles carefully in order to succeed and this babygro isn't anywhere near worth making the effort.

Most Stylish Celebrity Baby List Revealed

So it's the style poll we've all been waiting for?!

The top ten most fashionable babies of the celebrity world has been revealed. And of course like all these lists, we must absolutely take the information on there as red. There is absolutely no room for negotiation.

(The next question is how much more sarcasm can I pour into this article – believe me I haven't started yet.)

Anyway, surprise, surprise look who has topped the list – Victoria Beckham's 'little bundle of joy' Harper 'Seven' Beckham. (Does anyone else hear Len Goodman of Strictly Come Dancing fame's voice when reading Harper's middle name?)

This outcome is not a shock, let's be honest. That poor child is touted around in Posh's arms like the latest fashion accessory on a weekly basis, always kitted out in designer togs. David Beckham himself has commented that the size of Harper's wardrobe is ridiculous.

Suri Cruise, the now divorced Katie Holmes' daughter, makes number six. Fair enough I suppose even though she's not a baby and Kai Rooney, Wayne 'hair transplant' Rooney's son comes in at number ten. He must get his stylish genes from Colleen we can only assume.

The other names on the list are however a puzzle to me. TV presenter Amanda Holden's daughter Holly Rose is number two and Blue Ivy, pop star Beyonce's baby is number three. 'Socialite' Peaches Geldoff's new baby and Danni Minogue, the less famous Minogue sister's, son also appear.

But has anyone actually really seen these children never mind been in a position to assess how well-dressed they are?

I'm not sure how My1stYears.com who drew up the list came up with their results.

Well I do, they blatantly looked to the parents, and assessed who they, and the public, would consider the most stylish and 'cool' and then award their offspring a place on the list in accordance.

I could have a rant here about how these lists are dangerous as they put completely the wrong emphasis on what is important to a young child, how it would lead them down the wrong road of superficiality over substance, blah, blah, blah...but I think any intelligent person can see this for themselves.

What this list does reveal, and I have touched on it previously, is that these children are very much going to be growing up in their parents', albeit stylish, shadows, and are going to have a whole weight of expectation on them. A little sad really.

Violent woman escapes jail because she's a 'caring mother'

Mum of three Rebecca Bernard smashed a champagne bottle over the head of one man and stabbed the jagged remains into the bicep of another in a nightclub.

She claims the men were laughing at her and the voices in her head told her to attack them.

It turns out the two men were not laughing at her and the first man is now scarred for life and the second man is too afraid to go out into the town centre.

And this is not the first time the 23-year-old has had a brush with the law. She has a total of 51 previous offences under her belt including other violent behaviour and has been served two ASBOs (Anti-Social Behaviour Orders). These were for terrorising the elderly people on her housing estate, holding parties into the night and bullying.

As a teenager she led an all-girl gang who caused havoc across the town.

Despite all this a judge decided this week to let Bernard walk free from jail. His reasoning was that whilst she had committed a violent act and was obviously mentally ill – she has been diagnosed with schizophrenia – he was impressed with how dedicated and caring she appeared to be towards her children and ruled it would be wrong to take their mother away from them.

She was given a 12 month jail sentence suspended for 18 months. So basically if she does not commit any further crime in those 18 months she will not see the inside of a jail cell.

Initially I thought, well maybe I should be agreeing with this judge's decision. It is a terrible thing for any child to be deprived of their mother.

But then I think, what kind of mother can she really be? I'm puzzled how the judge has reached the conclusion she is so dedicated and caring. He must be privy to more information than we the public are aware of, but I feel there is little that could out weigh the negative that we do know about.

A mother has to be the complete package. It is impossible to compartmentalise aspects of her personality and behaviour off and say, well that's got nothing to do with her parenting ability.

She has to set an example to her children and as it stands she is being a terrible role model, and therefore a bad mother in my opinion.

Bernard has a long history of criminal activity, which has been spurred on by her mental illness. There is no guarantee she will not commit a crime again. In fact, her being let off in this manner is more likely to cause her to act violently in the future because she has been told she can get away with it.

The judge has made an appalling decision here. Let's hope he doesn't come to realise just how appalling his decision was when Bernard is back in the dock with her children's blood on her hands.

Walking – an update

I have to say, after my daughter took her first steps just over two weeks ago, I thought her getting to the point of actually 'walking' was going to be the slowest process ever.

For the next few days she would only take a few steps here and there and predominantly stick to her preferred way of getting around – that of the super fast crawl.

It was about the third or fourth day she began to show signs that walking was going to become a bit more of a common occurrence for her. Instead of counting the number of steps, it became quickly a matter of how many rooms worth of distance she covered. She initially walked the length of the kitchen, and then added on the hallway, before finally walking all the way across the lounge – therefore covering the whole of the downstairs.

Rather than falling down and simply crawling the rest of the way, she began to get up instantly and try walking again. After a few more days she was able to stop herself from falling on most occasions by pausing for a moment, knees bent, before springing up again and walking on.

After a week it would be fair to say she was a full-time walker. The milling around came next. Whilst I was in the kitchen she would come in and just meander around, tracing little circles across the floor, picking up a toy here, trying to get into a cupboard there, and sometimes just standing stationary, swinging her little arms.

And this two footed way of getting around has opened up a whole host of new carrying opportunities for my daughter. She has worked out she can pick up her biggest of toys or a large picture book and walk around with it. Food and drink can now be consumed on the move. Something which was impossible when she was crawling.

The progression from first steps has been a fascinating and, in the end, quick journey for both me and my daughter. If she does ever lapse back to crawling, and just over two weeks on now, those moments are extraordinarily rare, I look at her in puzzlement and ask, “what are you doing down there?”

Teen pregnancy is the smartest way according to Britain's youngest mum

Amy Crowther claims getting pregnant at 12 was the smartest thing she ever did.

Amy, who is now 22, got pregnant from a one night stand with a 15-year-old she barely knew. She then went on to have another child at 16 after a 'one-off reconciliation' with the father of her first child, who had not been on the scene up until then, and who vanished rather quickly off the scene after that.

But Amy claims she does not regret having children so young. In fact she says it is the best way to do it. Why, we may ask Amy? Well, now she is free to go clubbing because her mother babysits her son and daughter and she is super slim, taking dress size six. She says she looks round at her school friends who are having babies now and sees how they are tied to their newborn babies with no social life and who, in her words, are fat, and feels she has had the best deal.

She is such an advocate of her way of doing things she would be happy if her own daughter had her first child at 12. That would make Amy a grandmother at 27 by the way!

There is certainly something to be said for having children when you are young as it does allow you to have a life of your own 'on the other side' once your children are older. It was the norm going back several centuries for girls to become mothers in their teens and it still is in certain cultures. Young girls' bodies are built to deal with giving birth and the recovery afterwards far more efficiently than older mothers and they obviously come with bags full of energy to run after their offspring.

But Amy, despite her claims, does not sell the life of a teen mum too well. We go on to hear how she is living off the state, on benefits and with a three-bedroom council house. (As an aside how interesting it is that there is so much support for teenagers who fall pregnant whilst families where both parents work are left to make ends meet – but that's a separate discussion).

We also learn Amy dropped out of school to look after her children. Admirable perhaps as she felt the urge to do this rather than leave them with her mother, but there goes the education.

And Amy has also been in trouble with the law for drugs. She was found in possession of cannabis in 2009 and received a community order. She told the judge at the time she had the drugs to help cope with the stresses of parenthood – so on this basis it wasn't so rosy being a teen mum after all.

I think Amy rather defeats her own argument all by herself.

It's a puppet

Regular readers of my blog may recall Primrose the Penguin.

Primrose was the cuddly toy penguin me and my daughter 'rescued' from the gift shop at the zoo we went to for my daughter's first birthday treat.

Primrose doesn't generally get much chance to join in playtime in our house. She is more often than not consigned to the bookshelf where she can view the jollities going on down below, her frizzy fur and beady button eyes safe from inquisitive little mouths. (She's basically a bit of a choking hazard.)

However, she caught the eye of my daughter the other day and I lifted Primrose down to day hello. And the good thing is Primrose really can say hello. Being a glove puppet, she can wave and speak with a little assistance, though she does sound incredibly similar to mummy. I thought however, my daughter was convinced, convinced that Primrose was alive.

I was therefore, what, surprised, impressed, disappointed, when I turned round to see my daughter with her own little hand inside the Primrose glove puppet, waving the little penguin’s flipper back at me as I had first waved it at her.

Firstly, this is obviously very clever on my daughter's part. But does this mean the illusion is already broken for my daughter? Maybe not. Perhaps it opens up a whole host of imaginative opportunities for her, where she too can help bring her toys alive.

On the other hand (get it) it could mean when she sees other little children gathered around a Punch and Judy stand she'll shout, “It's a puppet”.

Passer-by intervenes to stop mother smacking her child

Journalist Esther Oxford poses a question in the Daily Mail which is bound to get many people pausing for thought. Would you intervene if you saw someone hitting their child? She poses this question following her own experience of witnessing a mother hit her son.

Esther was walking home from a fair with her own four-year-old boy, when she saw ahead of her a mother yank at the hair of her child, a boy she estimated to be about 12-years-old. Esther claims the force of the yank caused the boy's head to be pulled right back. The boy screamed out in pain but this didn't stop the mother yanking at the hair several times more before slapping the boy round the face.

Esther said she was so incensed at what she saw that she felt moved to say something to the mother. She approached with trepidation and ended up saying, “Is there anything I can do to diffuse the situation?”

The mother simply looked at Esther and replied that the boy deserved it.

Another family walked by in the meantime and did not stop to say anything. Once they had gone Esther tried again, saying “You do realise you could be reported to child protection agencies for treating your child like that?”

The mother basically said, 'do it', completely unperturbed. Esther realised it was time to walk away.

Two days later she called the NSPCC and the woman manning the helpline said what Esther had witnessed was abuse and warranted a visit from social services.

My first thought is that Esther's question doesn't quite correlate with the situation she witnessed. This was more than a tap to discipline a child. It does not surprise me the NSPCC ruled it was assault.

If I saw a mother give a tap to their child's hand or leg in an obvious act of disciplining them I would not feel the need to intervene. It is up to them if they choose to discipline their child in this way.

I would like to think however, that I would be bold enough to say something if I had witnessed what Esther claims she witnessed. I think the thing is you can't expect much out of it. The mother of this boy was completely unmoved by Esther's words and this does not surprise me. However, at the same time I don't think you are doing what is right by simply passing on by.

Breastfeeding mums stage protest against abusive waitress

Kelly Schaecher was subjected to some truly nasty abuse from a waitress when breastfeeding her baby in a café.

The 28-year-old was told if she wanted to feed her baby she would have to sit in the corner. Then when Kelly left the café the waitress drove past her in her car, screaming out of the window, “Don't you ever come back to my café with your t*** out again”.

The word about what happened to Kelly spread and soon breastfeeding mums were plotting on Facebook. Over 200 of them decided to stage a sit-in protest at the café in Bristol to show their outrage about how Kelly was treated.

Both the public and the police cheered and supported them as they made their way through the streets of the city waving placards, before finally taking their seats in the café and breastfeeding en masse.

The café owner himself was very apologetic about his waitress' behaviour and gave everyone at the protest free tea and cakes.

He said it was not café policy to make breastfeeding mothers sit in the corner and he has now placed a sign in the café window which reads 'breastfeeding mothers welcome'.

I can only congratulate this group of mothers for drawing the public's attention to the waitress' actions.

Breastfeeding in public may not be to everyone's taste but it is so important that mothers who choose to do so feel comfortable enough to feed their babies whilst out and about.

Too many mums are turning their back on the best and most natural way of feeding their babies and one of the main motivations has to be that they do not want to have to publicly breastfeed.

It is vital therefore that the public's attitude to this most natural act is one of acceptance to stop even more mothers from being put off breastfeeding and using bottles instead.

What this story has also shown is what a strong-minded and dogged group breastfeeding mothers are. They have to be in order to continue breastfeeding their babies in the face of such adversity. The waitress at this café obviously completely underestimated the character of these mums as she had no idea what was set to descend upon her. Let's hope it has made her think about her actions.

Women who work long hours have smaller babies!?

The researchers have been at it again. This time scientific researchers in the Netherlands have been spending their time getting the figures to prove that women who work more than 25 hours a week have smaller babies.

They also believe they have found a link between those women who spend a significant proportion of their working day on their feet and smaller babies.

They do not know for sure, but they are surmising that the longer hours and the time spend on feet, reduces the blood flow to the placenta and therefore limits the nutrients and oxygen going to foetus.

They class a smaller baby as one which weighs up to half a pound less than the average. They do not actually state what the average weight of a baby is, but I believe it to be 7 and a half pound – so anything under seven pound then.

The scientists are quick to outline the possible complications of having a smaller baby. They are more at risk of breathing problems, heart defects and conditions effecting digestion.

I really can't see how there is any sense to this research. They surveyed 4,000 women to get these results. But I would wager they could survey a different 4,000 and get a different result again.

I for one did a full working week whilst pregnant with my daughter of around 39 hours.

I was out and about reporting on stories until maybe 30 weeks pregnant and I was working in the office with just three weeks to go until my due date. I went on to give birth to a healthy 8 pound 2 ounce baby. Not small by any means.

When you are pregnant and other women are having babies around you, you find you become a little obsessed with how heavy their babies are when they are born – well I did – perhaps it's just me. And I can tell you there seemed to be no real rule to the size of baby and the type of mother. Whether the mother was larger or smaller, healthy or not, you could not guarantee what size the baby would be before it was born.

Of course it makes sense to look after yourself when you are pregnant and the key is to listen to your own body. If you feel you are pushing yourself you do need to slow down, and if you are working you do need to talk to your employer about it.

I think however, that research such as this is nothing but irresponsible. Mothers do not want to be scared into thinking going to work will negatively impact on their future baby's health.

I really think this is one piece of research which really didn't need to be carried out. It is not fair to burden mums-to-be with more worry, especially when the worry is probably unfounded.

Forgetful father leaves toddler in the back of a scorching hot car

A father has been arrested after leaving his son in the back of his car for two hours in the sweltering heat.

Kenneth Robinson, from Kentucky, claims he had forgot his two-year-old son Brady was in the car and instead of dropping him off at daycare he had driven straight to work instead.

A work colleague spotted the little boy in the back of the car some two hours later and called 911.

The boy was still breathing but very red in the face. Doctors said half an hour longer and the little boy could have died.

This case follows a very similar one in Kentucky in which the little boy left in the back of a car did die.

Robinson has been charged with wanton endangerment. He has pleaded not guilty but is due back in court soon. Brady was taken to hospital where his mother rushed to see him.

It turns out the couple also have a six week old baby.

This is obviously a terrible thing to have happened, not only for the little boy who could have died, but for his mother and father. I'm sure the father is suffering terrible guilt.

It does appear it was all an awful mistake, as Robinson had no intention of purposely shutting his son up in a scorching car for hours. I do believe the fact he has a six week old baby is a crucial factor. He was probably so tired from those sleepless nights which come with a newborn that it was the best he could do to even get to work.

However, of course this is not an excuse and it is terribly worrying that he forgot his son was in the back of the car, regardless of the tiredness. His son is a little human being, not a briefcase or a packed lunch. These kind of things, it is forgiveable to be absent-minded about, but your child is a totally different matter.

I can't quite comprehend how he managed to forget his son was there. Even when my daughter isn't sat in the back of the car I find myself turning around at traffic lights to check on her before going, 'oh, she's not with me on this trip'.

Perhaps it suggests a lack of interaction between father and son. And boy, must that child be quiet in the back of the car. My daughter's always babbling away to herself.

As for the police intervention, I guess this has to be done. It is a criminal act to mistreat your child, whether intentionally or not, but, and I'm being honest here, I don't think it fair for a man who is evidently suffering from baby induced tiredness and who is probably consumed by terrible, unshakable guilt, to be punished by the justice system. Others may disagree.

My daughter and the Olympic Torch (Part 2)

So the scene is set. Me and my daughter are stood road side waiting for the Olympic torch to appear. My daughter is aware that something is definitely a little different about today, but she is not sure quite what. She has no idea the momentous piece of history she is about to see unravel before her eyes.

The buses are coming down the road now. More grey track suited individuals wave from inside, the buses beep their horns. Next comes the Coca Cola bus, with dancers inside and music blaring. I clutch onto my daughter extra hard, fearful that at this close range the noise level is going to be too much for her. I needn't have feared. She is shouting loudly at the Coca Cola bus and pointing. 'Wow, ooh, wow eee'.

I relax and jiggle my daughter around in my arms. She raises her own arms and waves her hands at the people on the bus and anyone else who is looking.

And then here it is. A young man comes running down the road, the burning Olympic torch in his hand.

He stops in front of me and my daughter and the next Olympic torch bearer, the one who has become a mini celebrity on this bit of the road, comes forward and the 'kiss' is performed – the lighting of the new torch bearer's torch with the flame of the other.

This is a dramatic moment and the crowd inhales before bursting forth with more cheers.

Look, look, I point wildly in front of me for my daughter's benefit, not wanting her to miss this moment. I needn't fear, she is looking at this extraordinary spectacle goggle-eyed. What must she be thinking? Probably that this ceremony has all been laid on for her.

And the new torch bearer is off, jogging down the road, and the final cars and bikes pass us by.

The crowd immediately disperses with murmurs of time for a cup of tea. Oh so very British. My daughter is put back in her pushchair, which is still there and all present and correct, much to my relief, and I push her down the road in wake of the torch. My daughter is still clapping her hands and well she might.

In a few years time I will be able to tell her she was there. She was there the day the Olympic torch came to town.

My daughter and the Olympic Torch (Part One)

My daughter saw the Olympic torch relay yesterday.

As she stood – well was held by mummy – at the road side with crowds of other people, did she realise the significant moment in history she was about to witness?

I would think not. Even she's not quite that intelligent. But she certainly realised this was a Sunday slightly different to all others.

Something was definitely a little unusual about this set up and everyone certainly seemed very excited.

It wasn't long before my daughter started to realise what all the fuss was about.

'Ne-ow, ne-ow', my daughter cries as the police motorbikes tear down the strip of road in front of us, blasting us with their sirens. A policeman gives my daughter a little wave.

'They're coming', I cry, as excited as my daughter. There's something integrally electric about waiting for any kind of procession to appear along the road. It is an anticipation engrained in us from a young age. Who doesn't remember going to see their first carnival, waving at all the funny dressed people as they go by on their floats?

My daughter too has now been touched by this anticipation.

So far the Olympics has been a lot of hype. With the hype and excitement has come equal parts cynicism and moaning about the cost and how the British will never be able to do it as well as anyone else.

As the leading convoy car comes down the road, along with people on bikes – 'biy, biy', my daughter cries and points - and people in their funny grey outfits jogging along side, I realise that this is the start of what is a truly momentous summer for this country, hosting the 2012 Olympic Games.

I'm also taken by how the British have such a well, British way of dealing with these occasions. No one can stand patiently at a road side, clutching a flag and cheering politely quite like us.

Of course there is the occasional moment when the crowd swells further into the road, unhampered by any barrier, but they soon move back on the word of a policeman.

The restrained excitement only bubbles over for a moment at my spot on the road when the next torch bearer appears with torch in hand ready to take over the flame.

At this moment people burst out of the crowd eager to get their photo taken with him. This man appears to be a complete unknown but it's that torch in his hand that suddenly makes him someone – someone to have your photograph taken with – and why not.

I'm tempted myself if it wasn't for the pushchair I have been trying to guard from the bustling bodies around us. That is the difficulty in these crowd situations. Where do you put your pushchair so it is not an inconvenience to other people and yet is still in touching distance should someone try and make off with it? The answer – you tell yourself other people will have to lump it. The pushchair becomes an extra viewing body by our side in the crowd.

To be continued...